It Was Just a Phase, Mom

On the first day of sixth grade, I woke up at the break of dawn, excited for the monumental day ahead of me. My eager self put on the outfit that my mom had helped me pick out: a hot pink collared shirt with awkwardly cut rolled up khaki shorts. I felt more confident than ever. Middle school was a new beginning, with new people and new opportunities. I was known to be pretty social and outgoing, but my stomach still fluttered with nerves of the first day. I couldn’t wait to meet up with my friends that I have known since elementary school.

In my head I pictured a big, shiny school with older kids towering over me in the halls. I stared out the small bus window filled with excitement. The bus finally came to a stop, and it was safe to say that my expectations dropped a lot by the time I saw the old, low ceilinged building with prepubescent kids flooding the front double doors. I anxiously sat through class waiting for the lunch period when I could see all of my friends. All of a sudden the bell rang in my english class, and before I knew it I was already out the door and in the cafeteria looking for my old friends that I hadn't seen all day.

The cafeteria was full of swarming kids who were also trying to find their friends, all while cramming into small tables with cafeteria trays. I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see a tall, brunette girl looking at me with a few girls behind her. Her name was Maya and she was considered pretty popular in our school. She was one of the people that had changed dramatically over summer. Her outfit looked like it came straight out of a teen magazine, and so did all of her friends. I was beyond intimidated.

She ended up asking if I could sit with them and I realized how nice they were and I finally felt like I belonged in the school for the first time that day. Maya and her friends and I became very close in less than a month. I had stopped splitting my time between my two friend groups and spent every day at lunch and after school with the now “cool kids.”

Fast forward a few months later, and I was almost completely unrecognizable. Hot pink was no longer a color in my wardrobe and khakis did not exist in my closet. I came home from spending the night at Maya’s house one day and I opened the door to my mom’s face of confusion. I was not the bubbly and individual person that I once was. I then came to realize that I wasn’t even happy with who I was. In the span of a year I learned a very hard lesson. I learned that being someone that you’re not does not make you any happier or cooler than you think you will be. I lost a lot of friends in this period of time where I was only worried about myself and my image. Luckily I learned this lesson early in life, and I have been able to change my actions for the better over the past 8 years.