Man plans, and God laughs

I am what you would call “type A”. I love to plan and stay organized, and I am so impatient when plans get pushed back or changed. As we all know, this past year most people’s plans were completely scrapped. There were so many things I was looking forward to in 2020. I was graduating high school, more than ready to get out of my hometown, desperately yearning for a change of scenery filled with new faces. When the pandemic hit in March, I remember saying to some friends “I am so happy! I’m feeling so burnt out from school, this two week quarantine has perfect timing”. I have always struggled with accepting things that I can not control, it's one of my worst traits. Planning gives me a sense of comfort, a feeling of being in control. When it was time to figure out what I wanted to do after high school, I immediately came up with a plan. I toured a few colleges, but once I toured the University of Delaware, I knew it was the right fit for me. I felt relieved knowing I had found the right place because that was half of the battle. A few months later, once I had been accepted, it felt like this weight was lifted off of my chest. When it finally rolled around to spring, life was great, I had no complaints. School was going well and it was getting warmer outside. More importantly, I was about to graduate, I was all finished with the college hunt, and I had just gotten two weeks off of school! How could it get any better? When we had the two week quarantine, nobody had any idea what was really happening. I assumed it was just a technicality for schools to take a break, not that this virus was actually a threat. When events were starting to be canceled, it really hit me that this was serious. Things that I had been planning for months were being lost, one by one. There are still so many days where this all feels surreal. It can feel like we are living in an action movie or a drama tv show at times. I am currently watching season 17 of Grey’s Anatomy, a drama about surgeons. This season is set in current times, focusing on the CoronaVirus pandemic. There have been times where the episode comes to an end and I think to myself, “Wow, that is so insane. I can’t imagine living through that”. These are moments where I forget that this is our new reality. I’m not sure if it will ever feel normal, since normal is changing so rapidly lately. My whole life, I had always been very extroverted. I felt my best when I was surrounded by people, whether I knew them or not. I loved when I would be out somewhere and heard a million background conversations that were so loud I could barely hear the people that were with me. To me, being isolated for a long period of time was the worst thing I could imagine. In order to keep my sanity during quarantine, I constantly thought, “Once this is all over, I am going to do…”. I didn't think that there was any way I could possibly be happy when everything I had planned on for the past year was being on hold. I was so frustrated each day, angry that there was nothing I could do. I needed some structure and some sort of excitement each day. It took a few months, but slowly I started to get into a routine. I wanted to find some new thing that I enjoy, that I can do at home. Today, I love to cook and bake. I am constantly trying new recipes so it never gets boring. I am also working out each day, it is a good way to work through any mental struggles brought on through quarantine. I am discovering new things that I now find important. I am learning to prioritize my health, both mental and physical. I realized that even if I plan everything to a T, things still go wrong and maybe that is not the worst thing. I don't think I would have grown in these same ways without this pandemic. I always hear people say, “Man plans and God laughs''. Every time I heard that I used to think, “People probably just don’t have strong planning skills. If people would just plan better, nothing would go wrong”. It took a whole pandemic for me to realize that “man plans, and God laughs” is such a true statement. We can plan all we want, but life is full of curveballs and surprises. Sometimes those unexpected things make us better off, and sometimes they shut down the whole world for a year. As much as planning is a useful skill to have, being able to roll with the punches can come in handy just as often.